You will be ashamed of me WordPress. I have pretty much forfeited any attempt at acting like an adult. But then again, this was still a better November than last year’s.
If I were to whinge or complain about the terrible things that happened to me, or scratched at the emotional scabs over mistakes I’ve made, or even told another drunk or sex story, I would be, once again, masking the real truth that I am an addict, as definitively as any substance abuser, and I am merely procrastinating when I will finally stand up and fucking deal with my Internet addiction.
Even right now, I’m going on the internet and complaining about having one, which is so counterproductive you…well, I’m sure you do have some idea. But the countless merging hours that tick by so quickly, until an entire month is completely gone and wasted…I’ve done that before, but I was just a kid. And after I turned 20 and did that, I was unmedicated and mentally ill. Today I saw my shrink and told her I’m more emotionally stable than I have ever been as far back as I can remember. But I’m not happy.
It’s very easy. I log off, shut off my devices, and walk outside. It’s so easy it must sicken you, whoever you are reading this, that I would ever dare to portray it otherwise. Internet addiction is a compulsion. It is psychological. It is not a chemical substance in your veins. There are zero excuses.